Chores and Allowances

Chores and Allowances
One would think these two things are naturally related to each other but I would like to challenge that idea as a capitalistic reward system to indoctrinate our children early to believe that if they work, even help themselves, they need to be rewarded with money or other delights of desire. Is this truly what we want to instill into our children? So we want them to think they get rewarded for doing what needs to be done to keep a household functioning? I dare say, ”No!”
My father told me stories about when he was young. Less than 100 years ago when he, like many families lived on a farm. The children at a very young age began to help out their parents to feed the animals, work in the fields, harvest the food, make butter, care for the house, drive the horse and buggy to school alone for 7 miles, board the horse at a stable and then walk to school, arriving at 7 am to have a before school hour class in German, no playground, strict teachers who used rulers as a means of correction of behavior, and their reward was, they got to eat but not too much, to sleep but in a bed with 3 other children, they got to play without toys. They felt capable, had high self esteem, were better educated, learned how to get along with others, never complained, never whined or talked back to parents or teachers, never thought they deserved more, and were never given money for the effort. (I am not proposing we return to that era but it is worth noting.)
I began to receive an allowance when I was about 10 years old. It was a very small amount and out of that I laid aside 10% to give to Sunday school, % to spend on candy or other indulgences, a % for buying gifts for others, % for clothing, % for saving. I charted my spending and learned early that if I wanted something I had to wait and save. If a birthday or holiday was coming I had to save to give gifts and this I did. I took great pride in being able to be responsible for these things and great joy in buying my own gifts and some clothing. My grandmother made most of our clothes. I shared my sweaters with my sister.
We also did chores when I was growing up. Every Saturday there was housework and outdoor work to do. We would ask my mother what she wanted us to do and we did it; wash windows, sweep the floor, iron, dust, rake leaves, hoe in the garden, etc. There were also daily chores like setting the table, washing the dishes, feeding and watering the chickens. We also did them without complaint or a thought of rebellion. This was all work that had to be done. We all lived in the house and the adults were busy doing other work and caring for the younger children. From this I learned to truly enjoy these household tasks for my whole life.
So with my own children I decided that we would have a similar manner. We would work because it is our duty to help care for the place in which we lived. Every Saturday we had cleaning time for about 1 to 2 hours. There was a list of chores on the refrigerator that had to be completed and we could choose what we wanted to do. In the beginning I would help my children with the chores they chose so that they could learn what it meant to do it thoroughly. As one chore was complete it would be crossed off the list and another would be chosen.
They were also given money with which to be responsible for certain expenses just as I had been. If their eyes were too big and they wanted something they could not afford, they would have to wait and save up for it. By beginning this learning when they were young they held to the example of not to spending what they did not have. This was an important lesson for my son who had ADD and seemed to walk around with holes in his pocket and a most generous nature toward others in need. Later on they were both able to help pay their ways through college by working and scholarships thus graduating without any debt. For this they are both grateful and I am pleased for the gratefulness.